For people with integrity, it is extremely uncomfortable to not fully trust someone because they have a serious problem with speaking the truth. Is it possible for a person to be a chronic liar? Absolutely! Most compulsive liars don’t see themselves as lying. Usually, these people believe their good intentions are valid enough and reason enough to not see themselves as intentionally misleading someone. However, they are blind to the realities of a liar.
A compulsive liar is defined as someone who lies out of habit. Lying is their normal and spontaneous way of responding to questions. Compulsive liars will bend the truth about everything, large and small. For a compulsive liar, telling the truth is nervy and uncomfortable while lying feels right. Compulsive lying is usually thought to develop in early childhood, due to living in an environment where lying was a way of life. For the most part, compulsive liars are not overly manipulative and cunning. Rather they simply lie out of habit—an automatic response which is hard to break and one that takes its toll on a relationship.
Can you help a liar to stop lying? No! Get this nonsense out of your head because this will never happen. I feel for the people who have to live with a chronic liar. Unfortunately, there is not much to be gained by confronting a compulsive liar. They will just keep lying and an already strained relationship will most likely take a turn for the worse. On the other hand, no one is above lying altogether. However, if a person is sensitive to the considerations of others, he or she will feel shameful in their heart about lying and most likely correct their wrong. Then again, what hope do chronic liars have who lie without any feelings for those whose lives were negatively affected by their deceit?
In fact, most people are situational liars. It can be difficult to effectively deal with a spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend, a friend, a boss, or co-worker who only lies on occasion. It becomes hard to believe people who have no reason for lying. In either case, people who lie under any circumstances have what I call, ‘I can’t help it!’ syndrome. To be in business and lack integrity is a bad combination. It’s like drinking and driving. If they continue in this vain, they will eventually destroy not only their business, but will destroy their business affiliates.
There are no specific assessments to uncover a compulsive liar. Nonetheless, you need to watch for certain warning signs to be sure of a person who has an obsessive compulsive lying condition. They are attention seekers; they usually have poor self-esteem, tell creative stories, they are always trying to get ahead or look good in the eyes of their superiors at the expense of others, or they have a bi-polar disorder. Make no attempt to become acquainted with such personalities because they will secretly destroy your good name. If you have friends or relatives that you doubt their integrity, you are probably right in your assessment. Nonetheless, you are probably like most people who become privy of such information—you just do not want to believe that is true. However, make a firm decision to stay as far away from them as possible. They will always, somehow, pull you into their web of deception.
My encouragement to the reader is to open your mouth for the truth, and close it when you don’t know the truth. This will keep you from lying!
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