Are There Chronic Liars?

There are people you can trust and there are those who would lie through their teeth in order to escape from exposing their true motives or actions. The people I am speaking of can be classified as friends, relatives, spouses, bosses, law enforcement officers, Christians, politicians, etc. Are you wondering why I placed Christians on this list of people who can possibly be void of moral fiber? This list can easily trickle over into every group in life. People that are position oriented or status conscious are those most likely to exhibit character flaws.

Research on Lying

A not-so surprising result of a study conducted by the University of Massachusetts psychologist Robert S. Feldman and published in the most recent Journal of Basic and Applied Social Psychology discovered that most people lie in everyday conversation when they are trying to appear likable and competent or if they are trying to convince someone of their ability or character. The study also revealed that 60 percent of the people who agreed to the study lied at least once during a 10-minute conversation and told an average of two to three lies.

Establishing Character

Character cannot be taught, but it can be established and built. On the other hand, integrity can only be established and practiced. Let us take a moment and find out what exactly is character? Character is an attribute or a quality that defines a person. A person is defined by a certain set of habits, qualities or attitudes and these form the basis upon which your character is judged.

What Builds Character

There are also positive or negative associations of character. When a person is considered a person of character, the unsaid adjective is a positive or negative. If it is positive, it is an indication that he is ethically and morally upright and can be trusted. When someone is said to be a character, it could mean the negative-that he could be funny, awkward, or boisterous. Without exception, every attribute of you goes into the building of your character. If someone were to describe YOU as a character, they would take into consideration all aspects of your personality, including your physical appearance, your social habits, your psychological reactions and other people’s perception of your strengths. In reality, people’s perception of your character is what goes into giving you a reputation, whether positive or negative.

Associations

Your associations and what you listen to daily can help others to define you and the direction your life is going. People do not like to admit this, but your friends tell us a lot about you and your character. A person may say that they are nothing like their friends, but in truth, the fact that you listen and associate with such unscrupulous personalities at times, informs us of your potential. If you do not believe what I am saying, think hard about times when you left your friends presence-do you find yourself rehearsing the words you heard from your friend in someone’s ear. How about reviewing the price of the homes all your friends have or the income level of your friends. Your income is an average of your ten closest friends, so what does that say about your earning potential.

Self-Examination

Criminals hang out with criminals, gossipers love the company of other gossipers, and wise people love talking with people with great wisdom. You attract after your own kind. In truth, your character is the attraction that lures people with similar qualities. Therefore, do not be surprise with those people you cannot seem to shake away.

Hiding Behind Pride

Oftentimes, we go through life avoiding our personal issues and shortcomings by hiding behind a false sense of pride. That pride or ego becomes the protector of our feelings, shielding us from any truth that can cause us to surrender to the acknowledgment of our inadequacies. What happens when you hear the truth about something you have been avoiding…is that your ego or pride is damaged. This can actually be a good thing, if the individual no longer continues to lie to him or herself, but allows the truth to become therapeutic.

Truth is a Healing Balm

Because of the negative connotation we have heard about the truth all of our lives, it has made us mentally disabled and incapable of accepting the real value of “Truth.” The truth is actually a healing balm when properly used; it repositions the personality, reestablishes pride to its rightful posture, and makes one transparent and self-assured. Avoiding the truth damages the self-exalted, egotistical character leaving it exposed to feelings of being victimized and injured. This is not good for people who continue to misappropriate blame and channel it in a direction opposite of them. Needlessly to say, this kind of personality is deprived of the kind of relationships that build character and forge strength into integrity because they will attract people that lack character and have a propensity to surrender to their need of adulation-despite how artificial it is.

Pain is a Sign

If the truth hurts, it is because it wants to heal. Pain is actually a sign that the healing process is about to flow. It is also a sign that something is wrong internally and needs immediate attention. Something is terribly wrong when a person believes him or herself to be one way when to others they are not remotely close to their perceived self.

“Ego is simply an idea of who you are that you carry around with you.”

-Wayne Dyer

Whenever you believe yourself to be better than others because of your appearance, your wealth, and family heritage or celebrity statue – remember that you are just like everyone else on God’s green Earth…dirt.

Reflecting Enthusiasm

Consequently, what is the super, mighty missing characteristic so important that no successful person has ever been discovered working without it? Ralph Waldo Emerson said,

“Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.”

Enthusiasm reflects a person’s attitude and depth of commitment to a particular purpose, undertaking, person, or dream business. Enthusiasm will push an entire basketball team losing during a game to not only believe that they can win, but eventually win because they are enthused about what they believe. This great emotion has caused individuals and teams to accomplish the unbelievable, defeat the unbeatable, and perform the impossible.

“The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it.”

– Michelangelo

Defining Enthusiasm

How does enthusiasm work and what does it mean? I will answer the latter part of this question first, because I do not want people to have a false assumption of their personal definition of the word enthusiasm by using examples. Enthusiasm originally meant inspiration or possession by a divine afflatus or by the presence of a god. Johnson’s Dictionary, the first comprehensive dictionary of the English language, defines enthusiasm as “a vain belief of private revelation; a vain confidence of divine favor or communication.” In current English vernacular, the word simply means intense enjoyment, interest, or approval. Now, I will answer the first part of the question posed at the beginning of this chapter. The manifestation of enthusiasm always appears as if a person is possessed with an extraordinary power to endure, but also to outlast his or her challenges with extreme eagerness and expectation.

The End Result

When enthusiasm is missing in a person or a team, their momentum slows to a crawl and their thought of focus becomes scrambled or illogical. They will begin to bring up alternatives to their objectives and focus on the challenges at hand without the thought of conquering them, but rather delaying the inevitable-quitting. You will be surprised at how easy it is to quit when you lose your enthusiasm. Enthusiasm is the muscle to fight on, the brain to think creatively during times of feeling stifled, and the heart to believe you that you can. I love what Margaret Mead once said,

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed, citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”

Enthusiasm is the missing ingredient in those who start to quit, and those who start to finish.

Nothing like Disney World

Each time we visit Disney World, like the last several times, we took a brief hiatus to visit another well-known attraction we had heard a great deal about. When we arrived at this attraction, I went to pick up my tickets that I purchased online. We were met by a woman at the entrance to the attraction talking on her cell phone, which was outright disrespectful to visitors and a lousy example to this certain establishment. To add insult to injury, as we went further into the Attraction they did not have any supervision to monitor the children’s play area nor were there personnel to inform people on what goes on at each attraction. The Attraction was small and you would think that since fewer employees are needed here than at Disney World, they would have an ample work force and security to make their Theme Attraction exciting and safe.

Shoestring Budget – No Problem!

If you do not have the very best facility and your budget is the shoestring…no problem! This company could have done little things, such as going that extra mile to make their guest feel like they have been thoroughly informed when visiting their Attraction…and their visitors would appreciate it. However, it would take time to change their system, but it would engage the people to become participator instead of spectator.

Small Efforts, Huge Impact

What are some of the little things you can do to make your company run better or your marriage to become more cohesive or friendships more productive? Here is a short list of things you can implement to help your business or personal relationships improve and do extremely well, just by becoming more meticulous:

• Learn how to say the right things the right way.
• Listen to what people say about your service or product.
• Train yourself and your employees on how to smile.
• Invest time into correcting those so-called small insignificant details.
• Post direction signs or write little notes of appreciation to your close relationships.
• Ask questions about how you or your company is doing.
• Always make yourself available.
• Make small concessions for people that will make them feel special.
• Make no assumptions that people know something.

These small little things will cost you no additional dollars but the dividends you will reap will make a lot of cents. You do not have to be Disney World to touch people; you just have to have a heart.

Technorati Tags: Business Tips, Disney, Disney World, Walt Disney

Two Men Standing on a Bridge…

One day, there were two successful men standing on the bridge overlooking Niagara Falls. As they were impressed by the breathtaking view one turned to the other and said, “Look at the greatest source of undeveloped power in America.” His friend replied, “No! America’s greatest source of undeveloped power is the soul of the man.”

Thousands of Colleges and Still Dumb..

Millions in America are inundated with excuses and this train of thought has caused this nation to lag behind many countries in education. With thousands of higher learning institutions in America, the overall population is not getting smarter but rather dumber. Millions are searching desperately to find excuses for themselves for their lack of achievement. Seemingly, the only thing the people in this country have mastered is making excuses. Do these excuses sound familiar: “You either have it or you don’t; It is society’s fault; or The circumstances are beyond my control.” Whenever a person has excuses, they are ignorantly cooperating in their failures. To them, it could not be helped or their failure was inevitable. They view themselves as victims of an intolerant system engineered for their irreversible downfall.

One sees great things from the valley, only small things from the peak.
– G. K. Chesterton

Staying hungry

Give a person an opportunity to discuss their concerns; it will always be from a view as though they are at the top coming down. When a person speaks of their passion and desire, it is usually from a valley position. The difference is in the direction of travel; one person is coming down while the other person going up. Staying hungry is important for accomplishment. When passion is lost, the will to fight and persevere dissipates. You will no longer see fighting for something as the only option for achievement.

Giving Up Vs Losing

I have heard hundreds down through the years say that they did not see quitting as quitting. I wonder is this some warped way of pacifying oneself through their disappointment. One day, I was watching a girl’s basketball game and during half time, the score was practically even. When the second half started, one team came out and played the second half with such intensity that it mentally knocked the wind out of the opposing team. The team that lost did not lose because they did not have the talent of the other team. They lost because they gave up and just existed on the court when they saw how far behind they were. When I asked one girl what happened to the team during the second half and why did she feel they lost, she replied, “We really didn’t lose…we gave up.” Another girl on the team overheard the conversation and said, “We fought hard, but I don’t see it as a loss.” Two different opinions from the same team saw it entirely different. In actuality, one reasoned with an excuse while the other gave no excuse to reason at all.

An Example from the Greatest Man Ever

After Jesus was crucified on the cross, His disciples who accompanied Him for three years in ministry and had received the charge to move forward in the cause of the gospel…almost made the fatal mistake of going back to their fishing business. They had to muster up a passion for the cause of Christ so that His three years of labor would not be in vain. It was no longer up to Jesus to be the example of perseverance for them. They had to practice what they saw Jesus do. While three years of being in the presence of the Greatest Man to have ever lived and learn from the Wisdom that created the world, caused most of the disciples to experience uncommon success in ministry and as a person. One disciple seemed to have learned nothing at all. Instead of giving His teacher his undivided attention, he remained self-centered, only looking for what money he could get from Him. He too, received his reward.

Quitting Guarantees Failure

We will one day reap the reward of our lack of passion and drive. If America is to remain great, it will be because its citizens refuse to view quitting as a viable option. You can always find hundreds of reasons to quit and usually only one to continue to fight. Beloved, realize this, the only sure way to guarantee failure is to quit or become distracted by options.

Technorati Tags: dr. martin luther king jr, excuses, loser, opportunity

A seed reproduces its self

Perhaps one of the most insidious mistakes is to believe that you do not reap what you sow, but what you think you sow, or what you say you sow, or what you wish you had sown, or what you want others to believe you have sown. Nevertheless, realize this: You reap what you have actually sown. How ridiculous it would be if a farmer planted a field full of wheat, thinking he was planting corn. Would he receive corn instead of wheat merely because he was innocently mistaken, or because he wished he had planted corn, or because he told his neighbors he had planted corn? Of course not! He would reap what he had sown. So it is with you and me. If we deceive ourselves, even innocently, or deceive others, perhaps intentionally, it makes no difference. Whether you believe this or not, your spiritual crop will be faithful to your acts.

It’s not Luck; it’s Reciprocity

People generally do not like to hear the truth about why they are in a financial mess, but the truth must be grasped if change for the better is going to occur. The final error of reasoning that leads us to believe we do not reap what we sow is the belief that we humans are mere victims of circumstances-that our lives are the result of mere luck. Not true. The young pregnant girl at the start of this chapter did not become pregnant because of some freak accident. She became pregnant because she had unprotected sex. The effect of this false belief can easily be seen in a problem experienced by millions of people worldwide being overweight. It seems incredible that only one cookie, one piece of cake, or one extra soft drink could make so much difference. So we go blindly on, adding cookies to cake to soft drinks until our waistlines reap the fruits of our illogical thinking process.

It’s Universal

The law of Sowing and Reaping applies to our financial status, marriage, how we raise our children or oftentimes how we are treated by others. Our status did not develop into what it is without someone first determining what it will be. If you waste your time complaining about never having enough money, your brain will never have the time to create new ways to increase your income. If money is time and time is money-then wasting time is wasting money.

Making it work for you

This particular law of sowing and reaping is not a law for Christians and entrepreneurs only; it is a universal law that affects every person and thing in the earth. The law of gravity does not affect one segment of the population; gravity affects everyone. If you jump from a twenty-story window onto concrete, there will be an expected end of self-destruction. If you have worked at something for three to five years and it has produced little or sporadic income then allow your creative juices to flow to attract money. When a person is interested in changing what his or her life produces, they will have to learn how to develop a mentality to attract the things they desire to adorn their life. Learn how to attract money instead of working for it. You are a magnet that attracts what you are and how you believe. In some cases, you may have mastered a strong belief, but you believe in the wrong things. Change what you believe and your results will be different. Make sowing and reaping work for you instead of against you.

Technorati Tags: circumstances, false belief, reciprocity

1. Do you scream I want out of here?
2. Do you imagine yourself in Hawaii? Or
3. Do you go through the Yellow Pages to find the nearest psychiatrist?

If your answer is all of the above, you are correct if you are like most people. However, you are not like everyone who whimpers under the daily pressures of life.

Functionally Depressed People

Most people in this case become functionally depressed. They are capable of functioning during the course of the day, but they are seriously facing depression that can move for the better or it can get worse. The one thing that needs to be understood is that everyone, at one time or another, experiences some form of depression. A slight case of depression is not the end of the world. In fact, it is the start of a new world that is drastically being altered by your present mental status.

It’s All in Your Head

You see, your mind controls your world. It is not the circumstances that one goes through that changes their world; it is how their mind perceives the situation that makes their world what it is. On the other hand, there is nothing wrong with wanting to leave for Hawaii in the midst of turmoil. We have all wished that we were somewhere else when our circumstances seem to have gotten the better of us. However, if you mentally escape for hours in your make believe trip then I might say that you are leaning toward a nervous breakdown. Get help as quick as possible from a qualified source. Your mind is trying to find ways to cope with what it is experiencing because there may be little or no attempt on the part of the person to take control of their situation.

Coping with Life

Although there is no single cause for depression, we are aware that one factor is psychosocial. Psychosocial is relating to both the psychological and the social aspects of something, or relating to something that has both of these aspects. To put it plainly, it is how your mind copes with the problems one experiences. Life happens to everyone! During your days on God’s green earth, you are going to have problems-it is a part of life.

Commanding Your Mountains

Instead of allowing your circumstances to leave an impression of depression, turn them into an aggression of expression. Meaning this, control the outcome instead of allowing the chips to fall where they may. Napoleon Hill once said,

“Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.”

The problems we incur in life would not be considered hurdles or obstacles if there were no way over or around them. There are no hopeless situations; there are just people who have grown weary as a result of them. Make a conscious decision that you will not allow your once in a while problems to result in everyday feelings of depression. Give firm instructions to the disorder in your life and they will follow your command. When your molehills turn into mountains, do not look at the size of them and consider how you are going to climb them. Jesus once said to His followers,

“You can say to this mountain, be removed…and it will obey you.”

Therefore, command your mountains! It takes too much time to climb them.

Technorati Tags: depressed, functionally depressed, overcoming depression

The Art of Conviction

Parents should learn to master the art of conviction. All too well, should parents know this principle because when a child is born, the child’s needs takes precedence over the parents wants. Unfortunately, many parents have yet to adopt this principle as a standard; therefore, their children are left in the hands of a cruel world.

Wisdom Vs Irresponsibility

There are things you want to do and things you have to do! This is the difference between wisdom and irresponsibility. Wisdom will balance out your choices instead of your efforts leaning more towards the choices you make. For instance, a man believes that working long hours to provide for his family is his passion and conviction. However, his conviction may be a matter of the heart, but it is without equilibrium. While his heart is to provide for his family, he misses quality time with his wife and children.

Resolving the Dilemma

Wisdom will cause a person to weigh the two options and resolve their dilemma. Both the need to fulfill purpose and raising your children are equally as important. How do you do both when you cannot be in two places at one time? This is a valid consideration. However, the solution is time management. Loving your family enough to provide for them is very noble because this is a quality missing in the American culture, but it is not to be considered as a substitute for being absent from them. Quality time is more important than the quantity of time.

Conviction Will Manifest Your Dreams

Conviction over preference drives a person to overcome their fears and inhibitions to extract the substance of their dream to fashion it in the reality of the present. You may not be intimate with knowing every detail on how your dream business, financial situation, or life circumstances is going to turn out, you just believe that they will materialized just as you envisioned. You are fully aware that the prelude to accomplishment will be marked by days when you go without your Starbucks coffee, you miss your favorite television program or you press harder to get through discouragement. Being convinced of what is in your heart to do is demonstrative of what is being done. Conviction will see your dreams through, but preference will keep them in a holding pattern.

Live the Ultimate Life

Divorce yourself from self-defeating, destructive, non-producing results and escape from the ordinary. I must warn you though; that when you take a kick-butt approach to tackling the obstacles that try to slow down your progress by distracting you or to defeat your efforts with discouragement, it will cause you to stand out from all the ones whose attitude is mediocre. Living the ultimate life is not living a life of defeat.

Destroy Toxic Thinking

It is toxic thinking that causes people to think that it is okay to fall short of your goals; but in actuality, it is not all right. Why set goals with no intentions on reaching them. It is both a waste of time and energy to have such an absurd idea. Adjusting your thoughts is a prelude to changing your life. This is the first step one should make to access their dreams. You have to see yourself beating the odds, despite the opposition that is prepared to defend your present condition.

General MacArthur’s War Mentality

They say that war is hell because the rule of engagement is thrown completely out of the window when it comes to your enemy trying to kill you. The war mentality is kill or be killed. I admonish you, when it comes to fulfilling your New Year’s desire, take the ultimate, no holds barred, kick butt, and take no prisoners approach to accomplishing your goals this year.

One Couple’s Misfortune

I am reminded of a married couple in their early forties who became subject to this failing economy. After a pay reduction in his income and his wife losing her job to overseas competition they found themselves struggling to not only make ends meet, but to hold on to their most precious investment—their home. Falling seven months behind in mortgage payments, the mortgage company decided to delay the process no longer and they foreclosed on their property. At first, they were angry at the system and thought that they were without hope. I encouraged them to turn their anger into a drive to use this paradoxical system to work for them.

How to Subjugate Misfortune

Oftentimes, anger and resentment clouds ones vision and they are incapable of seeing opportunities that exist in misfortune. Remember, there is fortune in misfortune. As long as there is life in your lungs and fight in your spirit, you still have a chance to turn things around. Trusting the treasure God hid inside of you is imperative as you focus on your strengths. It does not matter when things are turned in your favor, it just matters that it happens. With this fortitude embedded in you to aggressively progress, you will attract the desires of your heart.

Misfortune Defeated

This couple fought back instead of taking it! They saw an opportunity to learn how to manage their money better; they started a small home business and negotiated with the mortgage company to change the foreclosure on their credit report. It took some time, but they made it work. Moreover, you can make your situation work for you instead of against you.

The Biggest Loser

Whatever you do, do not compare your situation to others. We all may have similar difficulties plaguing our lives, but they are not identical. When it comes to losing weight, do not measure your efforts against those on the Television Show, The Biggest Loser. These people have to commit to six months of grueling workouts of 6 to 8 hours a day and feed on foods prepared by expert dietitians. Your condition is quite different. You, in most cases, have to go to work and discipline yourself to maintain your individual workouts and eating expectations. Take a chill pill and calm down. You can lose all the weight you desire regardless of how many times you fail to accomplish your goals in the past. This time, your mental attitude is not as though you are trying to pump yourself up for a fight. On the contrary, your approach is “If you can create it, you can destroy it.” People please listen to me; if there is a recipe for disaster, there must be a formula for success. This year, see yourself beating life at its own game.

Technorati Tags: overcoming, powerful, the biggest loser, winning

First Self-made Female Millionaire

Madam C.J. Walker was such a prolific businesswoman who succeeded against the odds during a rather racial and violent time against African Americans. In 1904, after hearing Booker T. Washington speak, Sarah, which was her name before she took on the name Madam C.J. Walker, was inspired to go into business for herself. A few months later, Sarah perfects the recipe for her hair formula and she begins doing hair-straightening demonstrations with a hot steel comb that was given to her by one of her washing clients. Sarah’s business started to grow, with a steady stream of clients who wanted their hair straightened and a portion of her scalp formula, which she dished out in tin cups. Her ability to recognize a need, come up with a product and sell it to the masses was what made her the first Black woman millionaire.

A Great Private School

My lovely wife, Debra is one of those strong intelligent women who is presently living her dream of besides being married to me, but also running a preschool and academy. As a young woman, she matriculated from Hampton University with a degree in nursing while working hard to pay for her tuition. Afterward, she served eight years in the military as a nurse obtaining the rank of Captain. This is when she met me, the dream of her life and resigned her commission and started moving up the civilian medical administration ladder. She turned down a six-figure job and started the preschool and academy with just a dream and her faith in God. Despite my efforts of talking to her about delaying the process of establishing the school for six months, she convinced me that if not now, then when; and so we plowed ahead to establish one of the greatest private schools in our city.

The Most Influential Woman in the World

I cannot go any further without bringing into focus one of the most successful women of our time, Oprah Winfrey. She overcame the regret and shame of being raped and molested as if it was her fault, and personally grew to conquer a male dominated industry with her vision and gift in speaking. She crossed racial and gender barriers and became one of the top ten influential persons in America.

Mothers Influence

Down through the centuries, mothers have influenced the lives of their children far more than fathers have. I am not saying that fathers have not had an impact on the children, but mothers are far more nurturing than fathers are. When athletes are being interviewed they will usually say, “Hi Mom!” to the camera. Women have endured physical and verbal abuse, rape, low wages, and humiliation; and yet they rise. Most women know how to get up from failure and hurt after being knocked down by life’s circumstances.

My Mother’s Endurance

I learned to recognize personal strength by watching my mother who displayed an uncommon strength to fight through adversity and many disappointments. I have never seen my mother give up during financial distress or during periods of unemployment. While she was working at Western Electric and raising four active boys, she worked to find a better paying job. She did not even have a high school diploma; but she believed it was not going to stop her from providing for her four boys at the time. Later, she took a job at the U.S. Post Office and worked there until she retired.

A Life Lesson from my Mother

She instilled in us the little things that I see missing in today’s youth and in some adults. One day after I lost a bloody fight against a young boy, my mother threatened me that she would ware my tail (behind) out if I did not go back to school the following day and stand up against that boy. I had a new determination that this boy or any other boy will not beat me up the way this boy had. I have learned that when life pushes you, you push back harder. When your mother is tough like this, how could I expect to be any other way?

A Woman’s Value

Most men have learned some valuable lessons from their dads, but in most cases, men have gathered their strength from their mothers. The present age is experiencing a drop in the development of strong women. Young girls need real mentoring examples to connect and learn from because most of what they see today on television is nothing more than a façade. It is not about how much money you make or the career a woman may have that determines her worth. A person’s worth is in their birth. It is in the character of a person that exposes their standard and strength. A woman who refuses to compare herself to others will never compete. She knows who she is and she is comfortable in her own skin. She may have made mistakes early in life and no doubt will continue to make mistakes, but she gets up and pushes the reset button. Somehow, by the grace of God, her tenacity allows her to see those mistakes turned into miracles.